Tuesday, 06 October 2009
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Currently
Sweet Sacrifice
see relatedPoetry, things Ive doodled out.
Photographs.
Photographs are time machines, a window to the past
They'll take you where you want to go if given half a chance
But sometimes where you end up is not where you want to be
Just like the water of a dam thats suddenly set free
Photographs are memories for all the world to see
My absence is testament to my scarred pysche
And while there are smiles on the faces of my friends
All that i can see, is sorrow and regret
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
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A glimpse into the mind of me (:
Hello Lovelys.
Today’s well, I'm not sure. Twenty Ninth I suppose? Well, this is a pretty scatterbrained post. Its around 9pm. I got on the insurance yesterday so that’s good I might be getting my car from dad soon. I hope. Ugh the court was on Friday I keep avoiding thinking about it, but apparently there has been a court order that I not be allowed to know anything that happens. My psychologist thought it was damaging me, which I guess it was in a way. I worry about the trial far too much, but yeah ok. Enough about that, if I cry my headache will only get worse. Mom had her chemo today, she has it monthly. NO its not for cancer (thankgod) but a treatment for severe de-generative bone disease. It takes a lot out of her, so I end up taking over more than usual the week of it. My day consisted of class at 9:30-5:00 [part where I fell asleep next to my laptop] -- getting home at Seven. Cooking. And then passing out.
Well now it’s the thirtieth. Im in my ALCE class, history and English combined. It’s been a good day so far, I woke up happy. I was slightly late to class but my Art teacher understands and doesn’t mark me tardy ever. I get my license today, like official legit one. Yay! Hmm, Class is boring me, I have hw or something. Who knows. I’m feeling unproductive. Whee. I still have a journal due technically last Friday because my teacher lost the one I turned in on time ><. I cant bring myself to do it again, ridiculous I know; but still. I had it saved on my computer but one of my sisters over saved her poem, over mine. Which pissed me off. A lot. Oh well.
I promise my posts won’t always be as spastic as this! It’s just that I keep getting interrupted or passing out. I’m dedicated kinda… Anyhow. I saw ages ago a Dear Body Video on youtube and I wanted to do one as well. Help with my self esteem and shizz I suppose. I would do mine in post form? Not sure this is just a whim. Im still doing my daily photos, either with people or alone.
On a lighter note, I destroyed my iphone. Thankfully I have a friend who is not technology repellant, like myself; I’ll get it back today but lost all my music and pictures and numbers which is beyond depressing. I kid I kid. There are worse things worth getting depressed over.
Hmm, what now. I looked around the room. Surprise, Surprise everyone has their laptops out and is facebooking. I like this school for the most part. Im doing college as well as highschool, in case I didn’t mention that before. [woah its weird to see someone looking at your profile O.o especially when you never actually talk to them in person.] Ok disoriented for a second..
Oh yeah, school. I love it. I love the campus and the fact that I meet so m any people every day! Me and Alice rather enjoy speaking to people on the daily.
Argh, class is ending I’ll add more later.
Signing off<3
Maryam
Austin and me (:
Monday, 28 September 2009
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An Official Update!
Hello darlings!
Today is September Twenty Eighth and Im sitting in my ALCE class. Doing. Nothing!
its mighty depressing. I have yet to sleep since my last update joy. But all things considered
its been an ok day I havent blacked out yet.
Right, so morning went meh ok. I think this needs to turn into a flashback!
Right, so Friday.
Friday was not only the trial but the powderpuff football game as well. The guys dressed up as cheer leaders, the girls played flag football. It was surprisingly fun! A bunch of kids from my old school managed to find their way to the game. One boy in particular who I've liked on and off for years came! It made my day, we took a picture which was really ballsy of me I supposed considering he makes me nervous. I guess this is where I explain our relationship? Basically we've been friends for years (oh so cliche Yeah?) and he dated a girl, who broke his heart and hes recently told me about it and we got closer I guess. Im not sure what I like about him so much. Its more of a wow he's a sweetie sort of thing. I mean hes offered me his shoulder to cry on multiple times. And I have taken him up, and its helped alot. I'm just confused. I dont see any reason for him to like me; but there are like I dont know I feel lit sometimes. He'll call to check up on me, or just to say hi. Drop in at my school for a visit...
here we are!
I think we look cute together xD
another thing. I'm muslim therefor I don't date. That doesn't however mean that the want is not there, I mean I'm a very affectionate person. I crave it. Just recently I've been liberal enough to hug guys -gasp-. I love it, is that horrible?
Oh dang, class is over.
Ill restart in Math <3 -
Picture A Day!
Well, hello readers namely Alice as of yet!
Im doing my picture a day project it may seem cliche and all, but I would love to have this to look back on.
I plan on printing each one of these and binding them as a keepsake.
Creepy, I know.
I dont know how to link Alice
shes gunna have to teach me how to jazz up this page thing at school on tuesday
Two Am, and half asleep
Cheers!
Thursday, 24 September 2009
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Gooooooodmorning!
Its Thursday September Twenty fourth I believe,(Happy Birthday to Mak!). I just got to school and am sitting in fanin hall. Its the fine arts devision by far my favorite. The people here are so interesting. Just yesterday I met a group of people before my English/History class. They were discussing the pros and cons of subway and just how fresh it is regarding the logo eat fresh. Very amusing. Then one man I forget his name mentions how hungry he is but he forgot his wallet at home so I gave him a five. What I love about people is the reactions. See if I had been in that redicament which I have many times(I can never remember to switch my wallet with my bag xD) I would expect to be given money. Its not much just you know a kind gesture. Apparently it was not normal I guess. He hugged me and offered to pay me back which seemed odd considering he probably won't ever see me again. But virtue is its own reward and I've come to notice that more and more with each passing year.
I love people as we've said. Me and Alice (a friend Ill link to when I figure out how) spent the day before yesterday going around campus greeting people. It sounds insane, I know but its really fun! You can really tell if you've cheered a person up. I mean there have been a few brush offs and a run in with a very mean teacher, but ill get into that later. Depends on my mood. I completely lost my train of thought. Wow.
Ipod just switched to Jason Mraz- A Beautiful Mess.
You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are
Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging
And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes"
Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.
This song lyrically is one of my all time favorites. I mean i dunno, it just maybe its wishful thinking or something.
Just the romantic in me tearing up I suppose. I'm way too shy for my own good or maybe it is good. who really knows anyway.
Okay another thing I wanted to do.
Have you ever seen the things where people take a photo of them selves everyday for a year.
Well I happened to have coffe with this woman today her name Ada
Beautiful name really ^^
but heres my picture for the day!
Signing off
Maryam<3
OohLaa
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- Name: Maryam
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 9/21/2009
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